


CAUTION: This place is weird

by Schoolhouserocker21



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, Cowboy Bebop, Death Note, other anime - Fandom, ワンパンマン | One-Punch Man
Genre: Crossover, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2018-05-31 12:51:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 4,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6470623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schoolhouserocker21/pseuds/Schoolhouserocker21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Have you ever wanted to read a story in which a  Anime characters live in a giant multi-faceted city? No? How about a female oc character who will in no way be paired with anyone at all? Still no? Well then don't read this because I can't help you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Olo and greetings! This is just here to say Hello and that this is my first fanfiction on this site. I have been writing for FF.net for years and I will not be sharing my username with you as I am embarrassed by a lot of the shtuff I wrote and am currently writing.
> 
> To the shows creators: Please don't sue me. I do not claim to own these shows.

 

_"Goood Morning Anime Universe-thing. Place where we all live...Fine fine we don't have a name for it. Its 6:00 am and a Titan has escaped from the AOT universe boundaries and is heading down highway 9 on route 6-e. Anyone who is from that universe please don't get eaten. As for everybody  else just avoid the huge friggin titan in the road and have a pleasant morning."_

Reagan unplugged her alarm clock and lay back down "Day 13 on the alien planet and this shit gets less and less terrifying every day."

She was wearing a plain black t-shirt, jeans, and no socks. Her reddish hair was styled into a pixie cut and if it weren't for the fact her face was feminine she might have been mistaken for a boy.

The one bedroom apartment she had been living in for the past 7+ years was mostly bare with her mattress in a walk in closet and two blankets; one thin for summer and one heavy for winter. Her kitchen area had one Kotatsu and a cookstove, the bedroom had been turned into a small library with a cot in it for guests, and the living room was furnished with a small TV set and two mattresses pushed up against the wall as a couch. The walls had only two pictures: a poster of a cat in a tree and a photograph of a chessboard with an annoyed L sitting in front of it. Clearly Reagan had won the match and snapped a photo as proof.

Even more clearly, was that Reagan didn't spend a lot of time in the room. It wasn't pleasing to look at and the only guests she had so far was a desperate homeless kid and a Pokemon that got in through her window.\

So she was not very sad when a few minutes later a man smashed through her wall and destroyed the TV. She had been needing a new one anyways.

Reagan stood up, stretched, and walked over to the bald man who was laying there with a stunned look on his face "Hey Saitima."

He waved from his spot on the wall "Hello Reagan" He looked around the apartment and wrinkled his nose "What a dump. Have you considered painting the walls?"

She helped him up "Considering the fact I'm colorblind that may not be an improvement. Did they call you in or were you just walking along?"

"They called. I just didn't see it."

Reagan stared at him in disbelief, glanced through the hole at the Titan, who was in a life and death struggle with telephone wires, and then looked back at Saitima "Seriously? You didn't see that huge ass thing coming at you?"

Saitima dusted himself off and headed toward the hole "I will pay for your wall to return the favor of you paying for mine when you got smashed through."

Reagan started chuckling "Oh my Shignami you didn't see the titan! It actually came as a big frackin shock when it hit you!"

He glanced back at her as he prepared to jump out "Don't you have work to piss off to?"

"Nah today's my day off from the force. Otherwise, I'd be right out there with you reassuring the general populace that you bunch of nutcrackers have it under control. Which you do until Goku arrives and then the city has millions of yen in damage to clean up."

"Have a nice day Reagan. You should leave now before that Titan mysteriously explodes."

"You aren't supposed to kill them. Eren doesn't like it when you kill them because that is his job."

The bald man waved at her and called to her as he jumped out  "Life is full of disappointments."

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Will it sting? pt1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> None of these chapters will be in any order. These are just random things that happen to Reagan. Most are humor based

Some days Reagan HATED her job. Actually make that most days, being a cop or any type of law enforcement in Anime City/Place/Whatever the mayor decided to call it that week really sucked due to the fact that quite a few of the protagonists were criminals and the antagonists scared the living crap out of everyone right before MURDERING them or destroying city property.

Today it just decided to suck more than usual.

The Police Chief had made the executive decision to place a barrier around a particularly belligerent villain. This was within his rights as police chief (and it kept Goku out) but that didn't make it a particularly GOOD decision  as not even members of his own force could leave or any civilians for that matter. To make things worse, if there was ever a need for backup, no one could get in.

Reagan dodged a blast (Probably friendly fire) and hid behind a stack of boxes with Spike "It's just fixing to be a lovely friggin day" She started reloading her gun "Who wants to bet I can nail this guy between the eyes?"

the older man peered over the boxes and fired at random "Since I'm the only one here and I don't gamble I'm going to say...no one. Where's your partner? Mine somehow ended up on the other side of the barrier."

"L is..." She peeked over the boxes just as L dove behind them as the villain fired acid spit at the boxes. Thankfully he missed but the base of the boxes was melting and another hit might cause them to collapse on the trio.

Reagan started to hurry to a better hiding place "Right here apparently."

L whispered as they scurried to a concrete road divider "It spits acid so I think it might be the Sea King."

"No shit really? I thought it was a cucumber man that spat cucumber water."

"Please don't be sarcastic Reagan. It helps no one."

* * *

 

As they sat behind the divider and caught their breath Spike said cheerfully "Well, at least there isn't a hero fighting right now am I right?"

A feminine voice shouted "MOON PRISM POWER!"

L glanced at Spike as he reloaded his gun and growled "You jinxed it."

The young man hung his head "I'm sorry."

Reagan rubbed the bridge of her nose "Bloody hell Spike..."

"I said I was sorry!"

The younger woman gestured towards the magnificent battle involving Sailor Moon and the Sea King  " 'Sorry' doesn't change the fact we now have a bigger problem then we can handle! You can't say that in the vicinity of any hero that has powers, you know that!"

In the background, a (thankfully empty) skyscraper fell sideways after a hit from the Sea King and smashed against the barrier causing panicked screams from some characters, who were relatively new to all this, and creative swearing from others, who had this happen before.

L put his thumbnail into his mouth as he watched and commented "That was kind of cool. We don't have stuff like that in my area."

Reagan looked confused then glanced behind her and sighed deeply when she saw the damage "Nice. Well at least we don't need to worry about Usagi, she can take care of-"

"HELP ME!"

L glared accusingly at Reagan "Now YOU jinxed it! Is this the day for jinxing things or are we done now?!"

Reagan climbed over the divider and ran towards where Usagi fell. She yelled back as she ran "Shaddup and cover me!"

* * *

The young woman slipped behind some boxes and pulled out her souped up taser as the Sea King stood over the unconscious body of Sailor Moon and gloated to Tuxedo Mask, who was on the top of the dome like barrier, and trying desperately to get to his 'love'.

Reagan thought (Privately of course) that if Tuxedo Mask really loved her he'd keep a better eye on the crap that was going down wherever Usuagi was at the time. Though she supposed it wasn't his fault this time.

Or any other time. Reagan was in a pissy mood and had a tendency to blame people for things beyond their control when in that mood.

"You think you can defeat me little girl? Without him you are nothing!" The Sea King looked up at Tuxedo Mask and sneered "And you are nothing without her aren't you masked man?"

Reagan muttered under her breath as the big gun heated up "And you'll be nothing without your central nervous system you son of a..."

Suddenly, the car she was hiding behind moved, and she looked up at The Sea King who was holding Usagi by her hair. He dropped her on top of the car that he had placed to his left.

He leered at Reagan "I thought I smelled a filthy monkey back here. Do you think you can defeat me? ME? THE SEA KING! I am more powerful then you could ever dream! No one can hurt me! Not even this guardian of 'love' and 'justice'. What makes you so special? I'm sure your answer will amuse me."

Reagan shrugged as she jiggled the gun to try to get it to charge faster "Nothing. I'm just a girl from Kansas that fell into this world like Dorothy. I have no powers, my martial arts abilities are average, and all I can do is shoot a gun at whatever might hurt me."

The Sea King stared at the woman then screamed "WHY ARE YOU CHALLENGING ME THEN?!"

The younger woman treated the villain to her best shit eating grin as the taser reached maximum charge "Because the benefit to being unspecial is nobody expects it when I drop them like a ton of bricks. Tell me if this stings. I've never used it before and honestly? I'm curious."


	3. Yes it stings pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reagan saves science and almost dies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember how I said these would go in no order? Yeah I FRIGGIN LIED. Apparently. It wasn't intentional. 
> 
> I will try not to do it again.

The Sea King laughed in Reagan's face "You seriously expect that toy to hu-"

Reagan pulled the trigger interrupting whatever new monologue he had come up with on the spur of the moment "Shut the hell up!"

The effect was immediate and quite satisfying. The Sea King had a confused look on his face as the bolt hit him then he screamed like a hawk and writhed on the ground as he tried to tough out the effect of the shock. The electricity visibly traveled through his nervous system which was pretty cool but Reagan could see why the gun was not for use on regular criminals. That was a lawsuit waiting to happen.

He failed. The monster pounded his head on the ground and clawed the air "EAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHH!" 

Reagan took this opportunity to grab Usagi, throw her over her shoulder, and get out of there. The Sea King was a lot stronger than she had hoped which meant he would be royally pissed once the effects wore off.

L's voice crackled on her walkie-talkie _"Okay that was pretty damn impressive but REAGAN YOU IDIOT!"_

In the background she heard Spike say _"That was awesome but I think he's pissed."_

Reagan heard the Sea Kings voice scream after her "I'M GONNA KILL YOU, YOU LITTLE BITCH!"

The woman dodged a shot from the Sea King and ducked into a parking garage behind a pillar being careful not to hurt Usagi "L do you have a plan?"

There was a brief silence then L's sarcastic voice came in. It was the same as his normal voice but a bit more pleasant.

_"Yes Reagan I have a plan. it has three steps that even Spike could grasp."_

_"Hey!"_

_"You might need a pencil and paper for this: Step One: Lean Forward. Next, Step Two: Put your head between your legs. And Finally, Step Three: kiss your ass goodbye. Did you get all that?"_

Reagan responded in an equally sarcastic voice "Yes I do believe I have. Thanks for explaining it to me, I needed that."

Usagi started to move "Momo-chan?"

Reagan put Usagi down and checked the younger girl's eyes. No apparent signs of concussion and she seemed to remember her boyfriend okay "Close but no cigar hon he's outside the barrier. I'm Officer Donnell but you can refer to me as Reagan, everybody does whether I care or not."

"Oh...Sorry" She panicked slightly "Are the civilians okay?"

"If by 'okay' you mean 'A mixture of injured, angry, scared, and annoyed' then yes. Yes they are."

Suddenly, A slimy green hand grabbed Reagan by the leg and she was roughly pulled out of the garage.

"OFFICER DONNELL!"

Reagan shouted back "SAILOR MOON! NOTICE HOW MY YELLING YOUR NAME IS NO MORE HELPFUL THEN YOU YELLING MINE!"

The older woman was yanked upside down to the Sea Kings face "I have you now! I told you that toy wouldn't hurt me you pitful little monkey! Now pre-"

A mild voice cut in "Excuse me."

The Sea King turned to face Saitima.

"Put my friend down please."

The Sea King grinned "Or what caped baldy?"

And that was how the Sea King regenerated for the 80th time that week and how Reagan attempted to get in line to  strangle Saitima after she and everyone on the force learned he'd been there the whole time

All in all a good day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RAH RAH RASPUTIN LOVER OF THE RUSSIAN QUEEN. Now its stuck in your head, if you know it, and if you don't you are horribly confused as to WTH I just referenced!
> 
> Hint: Its a song.


	4. A day in the life of Reagan: Daily schedule

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A peek into Reagan's daily schedule.

3:00 am- Wake up due to the loud sex of the upstairs neighbors (Light and Takeda or whoever the latest screw of the week is) Get the broom, stand on the one good chair in the apartment,  bang on the ceiling, and scream abuse up at them. Occasionally respond to the abuse being screamed up at me from the downstairs apartment by Luffy. Its sad that this happens frequently enough I need to pencil it in my schedule book...

3:30 am- Decide that attempted sleep is better then no sleep and give up. Go back to bed. Spend Ten minutes fantasizing about what it would be like to live as a hermit and scare travelers away from my mountain dwelling by shrieking. Eventually pass out.

5:00 am- Get up, shower, and eat breakfast. Leave any laundry out in hamper for the laundry service to pick up. Kill a mouse only to watch it regenerate before my eyes. Kill it several more times before tossing it out the window onto some poor fools head.

5:30 am- Do up the dishes. Bang on the floor with a broom to wake up Luffy in time for work and scream up at the ceiling about the size of Light's unmentionables to tick him, and whoever is with him, off.

6:00 am- Go to work. Make eye contact with Light as I go past his desk and flip him off. Experience severe chest pains as he attempts to kill me but cannot because I am not from his universe.

6:30 am-10:30 am- Take care of any busywork AKA paperwork from the night before. Also take care of L's because he refuses to do his own. Also make coffee for everyone as interns are useless, Matsuda is on sick leave this week, and nobody will drink anything Luffy brews as it once killed a plastic houseplant and the drug sniffing dogs won't go near it.

11:00 am-12:00 pm- Lunch break. 

12:00 pm- 4:00 pm- Spike, Eren, L and I go on our shift. This week we are patrolling the Blood C universe so we will be bringing two tanks, a grenade launcher, and a bazooka. 

5:00 pm-6:00 pm- File reports. Visit infirmary for any injuries sustained while patrolling the hell universe.

7:00 pm-7:30- Go home and eat dinner. Do up dishes and take in clean laundry afterwards.

8:00 pm-9:00 pm- Clean the whole apartment.

9:30-Go to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Useless Fact- A polar bears liver is high in vitamin A so its actually poison to eat.


	5. Red Wire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Colorblind people should not be in charge of cutting wires.

Reagan liked to think of herself as easygoing and patient. Of course, neither of these things were true but she did try to keep her pet peeves down to a minimum of three.

This month they were:

1\. People who walk in the street when there is a sidewalk.

2\. Misa's voice.

and 

3\. People forgetting she was colorblind.

Unfortunately, Reagan was dealing with two of these three. A hostage situation went wrong and the villain in charge had accidentally been run over by a train in the subway she was currently in and he was the only one who knew which wire to cut in the bomb.

And because of his injuries and the fact he was brain-dead for 45 seconds meant he wasn't healing fast enough to be able to tell anyone. On top of this, she was the only cop there as she was off duty and the hostages were all really little kids who did not know their colors yet.

Reagan knelt next to the bomb, surrounded by a group of preschoolers. Seven minutes on the bomb  "Shit."

Misa's panicked voice came into her ear  _"L says to cut the Red Wire!"_

"Which one is the red wire?"

_"HOW THE HELL SHOULD MISA-MISA KNOW?!  DON'T YOU KNOW COLORS?!"_

Reagan snapped "No, because I AM COLORBLIND and none, I repeat, NONE of these children know colors or at least not any of the colors these wires are! This is literally the worst situation for me to deal with!"

Six minutes on the bomb.

There was a brief silence. Reagan looked at the kids "I don't suppose any of you rugrats know which wire is red?"

One little girl sneezed.

"Fan-frickin-tastic."

_"That is the most horrible thing Misa has ever heard. Repeat after Misa: Hail Mary full of grace..."_

There was the sound of a scuffle on the other end and Seras's voice came on  _"Reagan, I pulled up a blueprint of the same type of bomb you are dealing with. Cut the purple wire, its the third wire down."_

Reagan pulled up two wires and cut the third one "Got it."

The clock sped up.

"SHIT SHIT THAT WAS WRONG SHIT!"

_"What do you mean that was wrong?! It's on the blueprint!"_

"Well APPARENTLY the jackass made a few modifications!"

Some of the children began to cry.

Reagan rubbed one little boy's back and looked at the wires "Okay I've got two wires left. Which one is my best bet?"

Seras started panicking _"The yellow one! The red one! The first one is yellow and the second one is red! SHIT I DON'T KNOW!"_

"I'll cut the red one!"

"NO! Yellow! It's definitely yellow!"

"But-"

There were ten seconds left on the clock.

Reagan shrugged "Screw it, we're all gonna die anyways."

She cut the yellow wire.

The bomb stopped.

Reagan and all the kids yelled "BOOM!"

"Haha! Just kidding Seras we're all okay. Please send the bomb squad and backup down kay?"

_"REAGAN YOU ASSHOLE!"_

 


	6. Basketball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Watching sports as a non-anime character would be really weird.

This might be the most intense game of basketball Reagan ever watched in her life. Unfortunately, because the players somehow managed to slow-mo the ball every time a crucial shot was made, it was a little bit boring.

Reagan stood up and walked towards the snack bar "I'm getting some snacks. You want something Luffy? And by something I don't mean 'half of the menu'."

The pirate replied as he watched the slow-mo shot the"I'd like some loaded nachos and a coke. Wait don't you want to see the shot?"

"When it looks like that there's a 50-50 chance its going to make it."

Luffy looked deeply confused "What?"

"Look, I'm not from the Anime World I'm from the-" Reagan paused and considered how to explain this. After all the Anime Realm was just as real as where she was from and describing her world as the "real" one didn't seem right for that reason.

She settled for the most accurate vocabulary word she could think of  "Boring world. Which means that, whenever there is a crucial shot, the ball looks like it's moving incredibly slowly."

There was a pause

"So...You aren't going to stay for the shot?"

"Nope. Let me know how it works out."

After ordering Luffy's food and her's (sweet potato fries with iced tea)Reagen made her way back to the stands and handed Luffy his food "So, did he make it?"

He exclaimed "It was incredible! He made the shot from the other end of the court and won the game in 2 seconds of the 4th round!"

Reagan stood up "Well I guess we should take our food to that park then since there won't be a tiebreaker round."

Luffy followed her "Guess so. I wish you could have seen it though."

"Maybe next time. Thanks for inviting me to come with you by the way."

Luffy punched her lightly in the shoulder "What are friends for? Besides you seemed like you could use a fun evening out instead of watching reruns of Misa-Misa's movies."

"Amen to that."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea how many quarters are in basketball so I had to Google it. This is due to the fact I do not actually care about basketball. I like watching Soccer, Lacrosse, and Hockey though.


	7. Tortoro's Exist. This is news to some people.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tortoro's exist. This is news to only one person: A highly educated doctor.

Sometimes when Reagan had been working on an especially graphic case and needed a place to recover she would drive into Ghilbi.

Ghilbi was a district that was only populated by characters made by Studio Ghilbi and it was Reagan's favorite place. Even though parts of it weren't always very safe and sometimes sections took on a strange pencil drawing tone it was familiar, relatively crime free, and she knew what to avoid.

She took a deep breath as she laid on the grass and gazed at the sky "Ahhhh...Ugh!"

A tiny Tortoro jumped on her belly and let out a small roar.

"Hello. Can you get off?"

The little creature sat down on Reagan's chest and looked at her.

Reagan tried again in Japanese.

It still stared at her.

Reagan sighed deeply and slowly sat up "Look, you're cute and all, but I don't really need you on my ches-OW! YOU LITTLE  JERK!"

The small Tortoro had jumped on her head and started pulling her hair out.

Reagan ran around and tried to pry it off with no success "OW, OW, OW!"

"What are you doing Miss Reagan?"

To her relief, it was Satsuki and Mei. Reagan leaned down to her level and pleaded "Help! Get it off!"

Just as Satsuki reached up, the tiny Tortoro jumped off Reagan's head with a bloody mouthful of hair and scurried off.

Mei gave chase "Come back here with Reagan's hair! that's not for your nest!"

Reagan called after the little girl "Its alright Mei, let it go."

The child hesitated "But your pretty hair..."

"I know but I can't stick it back on so...just let him or her go."

Satsuki looked at the large bald spot on Reagan's head "Ew, its all bloody."

Mei forgot her grief over the loss of Reagan's hair "I wanna see! Can I see?"

The officer leaned further down and Mei gingerly touched it then squealed "Ewwww! Its gross!"

"Yes. Now, if you two are done marveling at its grossness, I'm going to the doctor to have it looked at."

* * *

 

The doctor stared at her "So, let me get this straight: A tortoro jumped on your chest, looked at you then started ripping hair out for a nest?"  
"Yes."

"You do realize Tortoro's aren't real right?"

Reagan gave the doctor a weird look "Are you serious right now? "

The doctor half nodded "Um...Yes?"

"You live near a series of worlds that are populated by Titans, Blood C assholes, Crazy vampires, robot dogs that turn into sexually attractive men, eggs laid by guardian angels that hatch into tinier angels, zombies, people with animal ears, talking cats, and other creatures, some of which come into the main world regularly, and you don't believe in Tortoro's?"

He became a bit peeved "I believe I already stated that I didn't."

Reagan stared at him in disbelief "Everybody knows they exist! Even L believes in them and he's the most rational person in any universe!"

"Have you and this L person considered psychiatric help?"

"Have you considered how badly the Anime school system has failed you when it comes to basic freaking knowledge that even Matsuda knows?"

 


	8. The Heart of the Cards is BS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No matter how much you dress it up, yugioh is unbelievably stupid.

 

"So, in order to save the city, we need to play a children's card game?"

L nodded glumly "Yes, that's what it looks like."

Reagan let out a heavy sigh and hung her head back "Fine" She turned to the 10/16/'who the hell knows everyone looks young in these universes' Boy and asked "How do we play?"

Yugi smiled "Just let the heart of the cards guide you!"

Reagan glared at the kid and wondered which Anime Deity hated her so much.  It was probably one of the Egyptian ones judging by the Egyptian Pyramid the little dweeb was wearing "That's not a rule you little sh-"

L held up his hand "Wait a minute Reagan" He asked Yugi "What does that even mean?"

"The "Heart of the Cards"  means the belief and faith a Duelist has in their Deck, putting hope that every card the Deck gives will be useful!"

There was a long pause as a random useless villain called out  "Do I go first? Or am I waiting on you?"

L took a deep breathe and released it through his nose "So, its just dumb stupid luck if we win or lose and there are no rules?"

"Yeah! Also this is a shadow game so if you lose you get sent to the shadow realm."

 

"So Hell then?"

Yugi looked confused "No, its the shadow realm. Its a different sort of thing-"

Reagan began to speak in a calm voice ending in a screaming rant "This is the most stupid SHIT I have EVER had to deal with! The heart of the cards? THE HELL IS THAT? AND THE SHADOW REALM IS OBVIOUSLY HELL WHY WOULD YOU CHANGE IT TO SOMETHING SO JUVENILE" She took a deep breath "AND, FOR THE LOVE OF WHATEVER STUPID ASS EGYPTIAN GOD INVENTED THIS GAME, IS THERE SUCH HIGH STAKES?! THIS IS A CHILDREN'S, I REPEAT, A CHILDREN'S CARD GAME!'

Reagan stopped screaming and started breathing heavily, a wild look on her face.

L reached out and poked her "Are you done?"

"AND, IF THERE ARE SUCH HIGH STAKES, WHY AREN'T THERE ANY RULES?! IT MAKES NO SENSE!"

"Reagan, this is a children's anime its not supposed to make sense..."

Reagan whipped out her gun and shot both of the villains legs.

L shrieked "REAGAN!"

"I win" She turned to Yugi "I hope you lose a shadow game, you nonsensical little ASSHOLE!"


	9. Advent: Days one and two.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tis the season for some bitching Tralalala-la-la-laaa!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...Reagan is second generation Irish American and apparently Catholic. Two things I found out about her today.
> 
> Also the first part was accidentally a little fluffy. I'm not sorry.
> 
> I will try to use this Advent to flesh out her relationship to other characters, because I want to and I want to focus on Christmasy stuff.

 

_1:00 am 1st of December_

RING! RING!

Reagan groaned and rolled over to check her phone. The screen said 'L' in big Gothic lettering.

"My word..." She answered it "Hello?"

_"All I want for Christmas is you Reagan."_

The woman was suddenly wide awake and she sat bolt upright in alarm "What?!"

_"And its not even Thankgiving yet."_

Reagan sighed in relief before replying  "L, this is Anime City, no one celebrates Thanksgiving here. Also, its Advent."

He ignored her  _" And its just Peppermint everything Reagan. Peppermint Coffee, Peppermint Tea, Peppermint scented Candles, Peppermint Cake, Peppermint Ice Cream, Peppermint cake. Do you want Peppermint Soap and hand sanitizer? I sure hope so, BECAUSE ITS GONNA BE NOTHING BUT DAMNED PEPPERMINT FOR DAYS TO COME!"_

Reagan recognized the slurring in his voice "Are you drunk dialing me again?"

_"That's besides the point. Oh and speaking of alcohol, PEPPERMINT SAKE BITCH!"_

"That sounds gross."

_"Oh believe me it is. Tastes like Elf Shit. Did you know candy canes are the bones of reject elves?"_

"Yes. You've drunkenly told me these things every December since I've arrived."

L asked curiously " _How long was that?"_

"Seven Years, and for the first three of those years, I didn't have a phone so you would come to my house and shout all this at my window. I ought to add it to my list of Christmas Traditions."

The man chuckled _"Haha. Yeah, that was pretty good."_

Reagan retorted almost affectionately "Asshole."

_"Dipshit."_

There was a brief comfortable silence "Goodnight L."

_" 'Night Reagan. See you tomorrow."_

* * *

 

_2:00 Pm 2nd of December._

Reagan sat in her patrol vehicle with L and gritted her teeth as he hummed 'Frosty the Snowman.'

Finally, she snapped "Can you not?"

L looked innocently at her "Not what? What am I doing?"

"Hum that song. It's annoying."

"Why?"

Reagan pinched the bridge of her nose "You know damn well why, we have this conversation every year."

"Why?"

"Because it has NOTHING to do with Christmas that's why! You might as well sing Spooky Scary Skeletons!"

L put his thumbnail in his mouth "But you sing 'Good King Wenceslas' and that also has nothing to do with Christmas. So I guess that makes you a hypocrite."

Reagan retorted "Its a song about  _Lá Fhéile Stiofáin_  which is one of the feasts of Epiphany, which means it has more to do with Christmas than your occult snowman."

L stared at her "Excuse me,  _Lá Fhé-_ What?"

Reagan translated "The Feast of St. Stephan?" She tried again when he didn't seem to understand  " _Lá an Dreoilín?_ The Wren Day?"

He still stared blankly at her "I'm not Irish so...Wait are you Irish?"

"Irish Amer- YOU KNOW THAT! Um...St. Stephan's day?"

The detective shook his head

She rolled her eyes "World's smartest man my ass...Boxing Day?"

"Ohhhh, okay! Wait...What does that have to do with a dead king?"

Reagan sighed "Its on the same day ya heathen."

"Oh. You know, sometimes I forget how very Catholic you can be."

"My word."

 

**Author's Note:**

> If there is any character you would like featured in this please let me know. i don't know how you will do that but you are smart and will figure that out.


End file.
